I have a confession to make.
Sometimes I am not perfect. (ha! Shocker, right?)
But, really. There are a lot of things I don’t share on this blog because they don’t fit into this image I’ve created for myself here. And I don’t like that.
I have flaws, and I eat crap, and I overeat. Or sometimes it goes the opposite way, and I just don’t eat. And I hate that about myself. I wish I was a perfect vision of health all.the.time. But I’m simply not. It’s cyclical. Most times I am happily plugging along, and then some event – a test, or a fight, or even worse, shark week – comes along, and it’s like everything just gets tossed up in the air. It’s a tough spot to be in. I tell my clients at the gym to eat a certain way, I talk about good nutrition and health all day at school, I post blogs and tweet about it, and sometimes I am the one completely failing at being that perfect little health blogger. I feel like such a hypocrite.
I don’t want to have to hide these things on my blog. I want to share my struggles. And sometimes I want to have selfish moments and just talk about myself and how I’m feeling. Like right now… Is that so bad? I say no. Hell, it’s my blog.
So right now? I am mad at myself for not working out consistently over the past few days. I am PO’d that I let myself mindless eat peanut butter while watching The Bachelor last night, simply because it was National Peanut Butter Day. And worst of all, I am disappointed that I have been hiding all this simply because it did not match the persona of a perfect healthy living blogger that I’ve been comparing myself to.
The good thing about all this, is that I know I have the tools to get myself back on track. I know I won’t be out in this unhealthy limbo land for too long. And hopefully, if I stop keeping secrets on here, I will be able to to make the transition back on the healthy path a little bit quicker.
Hopefully you won’t mind if I’m a little bit more open on here, yo.
So for today, I am going to suppress my crazy RIT student self, and make sure I at least let myself step away from the case studies and studying for Friday’s MNT midterm to get a workout in and eat well. School can wait for health.